Day 14: Arrival expectations

No no no this is not a list of things I keep to have to wait for me when I arrive… Sophie already has that 

I’m approaching 24 hours left on Polar seal and I started to think about what it's going to be like to arrive.

The more I started thinking about it the more I realized I have been here once before, in Cape Verde. That time was different, I agree. What I do remember was seeing land, dropping anchor, and feeling some relief the feeling of friends but I also felt this weight hanging over me, I still had to sort through my shit, I still had big decisions to make, I was tired, emotional and I was only 1/3 through the journey.

In cape Verde, I appreciated the food and people but I honestly don’t remember any fanfare to stepping on the dock or walking on land. I think I had too much going on in my mind. But it was still an accomplishment 1000nm solo and a raft rescue assist… not bad for a week of sailing.

24 hours out from Antigua things are a lot different, when I think of the sand, the dirt, the ground, I get a bit of water in my eyes. When I think of Sophie someone I have not seen in 6 weeks I get excited, happy, energized. When I think back to the passage I get flooded with different emotions.

I can’t say that I have not cried on this leg of the trip thinking about the raft rescue but I can say it’s only been a few times and generally at night. I imagine, upon pulling into the dock so many emotions will take hold I won’t know what to do. I would also suspect that these emotions will take many forms and shapes over the next week or two.

I just need to sit and process it… it actually is the reason I wanted this adventure in the first place, to understand what it feels like, to understand the mental and emotional parts of it. Well, I think in 24 hours I’ll really get to experience it.

The journey is not done, I still have 150NM to go (when writing this) but I’m getting close and soon I’ll be able to smell the land (I can’t wait for that).

So… I really don’t have a lot of expectations on arrival I suspected ill be extremely happy, I suspect I’ll cry, I’ll probably jump on the dock and give Sophie a massive hug (hopefully my docking goes okay). I think most of all I’m looking forward to telling this story and everything that goes with it.

One last thing… I have said it a few times but I want to make the point. No adventure, solo or otherwise is ever solo. There is always a team, a network, and a support structure that lifts the person doing the adventure to the finish.

I could not have done this trip without a lot of people but most importantly I could not have done it without Sophie. She sacrificed a lot of things, lived out of a bag for months, and put her own goals on hold while I did this. She has her own emotional ups and downs through different t stages and yet she was always there to support and be by my side… even if it was 1000s of miles away. I know a lot of people will give me congratulations when I arrive but I want to challenge people to give my support network; Sophie, Charlie, Andy, Steven, Mia, Nikki Bryan, and my parents a congratulation as well.

Now, let’s finish this thing!!!